The Journey...

 

No destination is final. The journey is all there is, and the only journey is the one within. For one after the other, and round and round we go… Life goes on,

i am going home for a family wedding, and i’m stuck on this train, which already had a long journey duration of ~48 long hours, and is now running ~24 hours late. Three whole days on a train…

Anyway, i’m listening to this 1967 Album, “The World We Knew”, by Frank Sinatra. i’m listening to the song “It Was A Very Good Year” on repeat. Everything is on repeat. Just going somewhere… i know where, but i pretend not to. Contemplating existential questions in my head: Who am i? What am i doing here? Coming up with symmetric answers (and round n’ round we go): i am here today, just a few days ago i was in a whole different world… Who knows what the future holds? Contemplating my whole life from that cold bed by the window on a train moving ~100km/h in the night. Just going somewhere… (better to pretend not to know where) through wild rainforests, mountains, rivers, bridges, and tunnels… i look around and the abstract symmetry is revealed… Like i said, everything is on repeat…

As i’m sitting here trying to write some of this down, i can't help but feel distracted by the sheer unmindful ignorance of the people around me... is it so hard to put on a pair of headphones? is it? i try not to get involved, too abstract to get involved rn, everyone got their own set of issues and whatever. i put on my own pair of headphones and the journey continues…

Anyway, i’m just tryna have some “me time”, listen to some songs, enjoy the view, lost in my head, maybe write some things down, and just enjoy the journey before me… As much as i am annoyed out of my fucking mind, i can’t help but look at people, and feel sad because of the lives they seem to be living… Whatever, that’s life. People live wildly different lives, what do i know? Most people are just going about their ways, doing as their brain is wired, without any crucial introspection… There’s nothing you can do about that. Just smile and move on… Not too long ago, i myself would’ve been on the other side, and it’s not funny. Whatever, things change, people grow, and life goes on… Maybe they’ll grow too. You can’t make someone understand something unless they themselves want to, for they lack the dependencies required.

Sometimes, when i look out of the window, i see mountains, i see rivers and valleys… i see open grounds as far as the eye can see, and free folks living their traditional yet simple lives on farms beneath the wild mountains, which seems to me like magic… “Born Free”, as a great poet once put it… Truly! No care of the world, no questions, just living somewhere, doing something… i know it isn’t as easy as it all looks, but hey, what is? i would know, i grew up on one. Only at that time, i didn’t know that i was living the time of my life… it was a peaceful life, it really was… Spending afternoons beneath the big green trees, gentle winds, and unexplainable things… Life,

You see, i took the train instead of the plane because i’m broke as a bottle o’ wine… And the fact that i happen to enjoy the journey because “The journey is all there is, and the only journey is the one within”. And, most of all, i just need some adjustment time before i can really be there or anywhere for that matter. i live two vastly different lives, and the state of mind is just… (a story for another day). First, the life that i’ve built for myself, the one where i happen to enjoy my solitary existence, and the life that i left behind, but can never really leave behind because they also are a critical part of what makes me, me. i know it’s fucked-up, but that’s life. People keep expecting to see the younger version o’ the poor old me, but how do i explain to ‘em that i killed him? He doesn’t exist anymore. A wild storm came, and only the adaptive part of me survived, for the storm is a never-ending one, and the only way to survive is through constant change. For you’re already inside the storm, and it’s gonna be a while… it’s hard to escape gravity, and to escape, you need that escape velocity. And even after all the struggle to survive, no cosmic purpose is evident. in other words: in the end, nothing matters. And that is the problem. That is why i’m having a hard time trying to make sense of it all… Anyway, they don’t understand the whole concept of growth (and i don’t blame ‘em). So, i fake a smile and pretend everything is fine… For they won’t even try to understand the fact… So, in despair, we shall die…

As i look outside the window, hoping to enjoy the view, i, can’t help but feel sad about the nature of existence itself… Just existing for some reason… Wild mountains and open fields… i see this farm beneath the mountain on a fresh morning… a man doing some work on his land with his children around him playing… ducks wandering around… Cows and oxes grazing, and the good old fire cooking… One might see this and feel sad because of the whole poverty aspect of it, but i see this as liberating, “Born Free” as i’d like to put it… Of course, it has its own set of problems, but what doesn’t have the good old problems? is your life problem-free? i don’t think so, different kinds of problems, but problems nonetheless. Everything has its own set of perks and disadvantages… Nothing is perfect. That’s the nature of life on this planet. People exist and live in every corner of the world, just going about their lives, doing something, and simply existing for some reason… i see a lot of things that i just can’t explain. No one can. And, who’s to say what it all means…?

We long for some cosmic purpose, but unfortunately, none is evident. So yeah, in the end, nothing. in the meantime, enjoy the journey. The journey is all there is, and the only journey is the one within. Either way, nothing is inevitable...

As a wise man once said, “i’ve seen a lot of beautiful things with a heavy heart”

Life goes on,

 

Sources

– Cover image (Source)

– The World We Knew (Album)

– it Was a Very Good Year (Song)

– Everything is on repeat (Mix)

– Born Free (Song)

– Teen Dream (Album)

 

Until next time...✌️